These are My 5 Dating Rules

Back when I was still working in a cubicle farm I used to look forward to Monday mornings. There were two single 30ish gals in the neighboring cubicle and every Monday they’d compare notes on their weekend dating escapades. They were both meeting multiple guys on the Plenty of Fish app and I got my free entertainment listening to them discuss their dates from the cube next door.

These ladies actually had a “must” list that they seemed to add something new to every Monday. I kid you not, their list included things like “must not lick own elbow in public”, “must not take teeth out at dinner”, and “must not have mom drop you off for our date”.

I was single too and about a decade older than them at the time so their antics inspired me to come up with my own “must” list. My friends liked to tell me that I was just too picky, so I thought maybe my list would be pretty long – nope, I’ve only got five “musts” and I’ve even amended a couple of them over the years.

1. Must have your own vehicle, I’m not gonna be your ride.
2. Must be taller than me. I just want to put my head on someone’s shoulder. I’m only 5’4″ so I’m hoping this isn’t too much to ask.
3. Must be able to support yourself, I’m nobody’s sugar mama (well except for my 5 littles).
4. Must have all your own teeth. I’m a sucker for a great smile.
5. Must not live with mama.

I’ve had to amend the last two on the list – they don’t have to be all your own teeth, just as long as you have a mouthful of them (and don’t take them out at dinner). And mama can live with you, but you can’t live with mama, and this only applies if she likes me.

I have other dealbreakers of course, like don’t be a control freak, an asshole, or a sexist, or a racist or most of the ‘ists, but other than that I’m open to all weight classes, races, religions, and political affiliations. I mostly just want someone who “gets” me, has a sense of humor, has my back even when I’m wrong, and is cool enough to discuss my wrongness gently with me in private. What’s on your list?

Photo Credit: 44710122 @ Boggy | Dreamstime.com