I’ve been pretty interested in this new guy that I met at bowling, we even went out for drinks a couple times, before he told me that he wasn’t interested in a relationship. I told him that I couldn’t do “friends with benefits” and figured that would be the end of things.
Instead, we text good morning every day, communicate throughout the work day, and talk on the phone for hours before bed. I originally thought maybe he was just trying to keep me occupied in hopes I’ll change my mind about the booty call thing, but we’re on month two (nearly three!) now of being a daily fixture in each other’s lives – he may not know it, but I think we’re sort of “in a relationship”. I mean, if I didn’t hear from him tomorrow I’d wonder what I did wrong and feel like he’d broken up with me.
My best friend and I went to dinner recently and I was telling her about this quandary that I’m in, I really like this guy, but I also believe him when he says he knows what he wants (or doesn’t want). She responded with – “well what do you want really? You’re not looking for a husband, just a boyfriend, and how many years has it been since you’ve been attracted to someone like this? Why not just go with it and have some fun while it lasts?”
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about that and she’s right – it’s been 4+ years since my last relationship (i.e. sexual encounter), two years since my last date and this guy excites me in ways those guys didn’t, surely I deserve a little joy in my life even if it’s temporary?
So I’ve decided to try and take that part of the advice, just be chill, relax, enjoy and see what happens – without hope or expectations. The other part of her advice was something like “he’ll eventually come around, or once he gets to know you better he’ll change his mind”. I think that’s bad advice and I disagree. I believe men are simple, they don’t talk much about what they want or how they feel, but when they do you should listen. Most chicks hear what they want to hear or think “well I can fix that”. But nobody wants to be fixed and I shouldn’t have to wait for anyone to come around.
I have, however, decided to take joy in my life where I can find it and this amazingly imperfect human is currently bringing me much joy. Thank you bestie!!
Photo Credit: ID 144587256 @ Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime.com
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